Airport porter had a thought that my wife was a time traveller.

Before I narrate the titled story, I like to comment briefly regarding the latest news about Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe which appeared on the TV as well in the national papers. She announced that before her departure to the UK she signed a false confession under duress when the British official stood idly by, doing nothing.

I think she has a point. The confession obtained by duress, as she claims, is not a trifling matter.

 The British official should have tried to intervene first verbally and if it did not work, he should have exchanged blows with the Iranian man, even if it would have put her departure in jeopardy. The avoidance of a coerced confession was more important than her release. 

I suggest that she should go back to Iran, whose nationality she still holds, and fight the Mullahs against the “dehumanising” treatment meted out to her before she was allowed to leave.

My wife decided to make a visit to Lahore (Pakistan) to see her close relatives. Since the start of the pandemic, we had not gone to any holidays within or outside the country. Now all the restrictions had been removed, she decided to go. I refused to accompany her because, firstly, at this time of the year there is searing heat and, secondly, she has more relatives in Lahore than me.

After passing through the Passport Control and collecting checked-in baggage, she engaged a porter to assist her. He looked twenty something.

 She was supposed to be received by her cousin who was delayed due to traffic.

 She wanted to release the porter so that he could catch another customer. He asked for 600 rupees. She pulled out of her purse an envelope and a 1000 rupee note, which was equivalent to less than £5, and gave it to him. The porter looked askance and suggested deferentially:

“Madam, are you a time traveller? I’ve seen the movie, but now I’m seeing the one right in front of me.”

My wife queried:

“Is something wrong with the note? It is not fake you can see on it a photo of the country’s founder.”

“Yes, madam, I’ve seen similar notes when I’s very young. These were withdrawn from circulation long ago. I guess you’ve come to the country after many years.”

He was right, she was visiting the country after fifteen years.

In the envelope there were notes of other countries as well. In the purse she had fifty- pound notes, which she had drawn from the Bank on request.

She suggested that he could wait a bit because her cousin would be coming at any moment. The porter agreed.

She asked him:

“How’s your country doing?”

He began to rhapsodize about the situation not only in his country but more:

“The government has changed, but I doubt it if there would be any difference. The previous Prime Minister was undoubtedly an honest man, but he was let down by people around him. About the present one it is too early to form a judgment. But I doubt it if there would be even cosmetic improvements, let alone fundamental ones. You might have heard an old Punjabi saying. Someone was caught stealing and he was sentenced by the magistrate giving him the option either to eat ten good-sized onions with water or receive ten lashes on his bare back. The thief thanked the sentencer for giving him the choice and pleased to accept the option of eating ten onions, which he thought was a piece of cake. After eating eight onions he could not take anymore and begged to be lashed ten times on his back. After receiving eight lashes he was about to pass out and preferred to complete the course of onions. In brief, he received both the punishments. Same is true of us.”

My wife interrupting him suggested that he looked an educated person.

He continued:

“I’m a graduate. I’m lucky for being a porter at the airport. I’m better off than our brothers in the neighbouring country India, where millions sleep on the footpaths. You must’ve read the news that the young men in Mumbai deliver hot meals to customers within ten minutes on bikes or scooters and they get three rupees per delivery. Prime Minister Modi is proud to be leading the biggest democracy in the world. The fact is that he is the Prime Minister of the biggest poverty on this planet. He believes his country should be a big old Hindustan for Hindus only. He knows very well that prosperity erodes adherence to religion and religious values. Interestingly, during his recent visit to India your Prime Minister Boris Johnson called him his best friend. Modi would never be his friend. There’s a world of difference between them. Modi is a friend of President Putin, who also dreams to be the President of big old Russian empire.  I feel sorry for him. Modi and his lookalikes would rule this part of the world for years to come. Religious parties come on a one- way ticket. Look at Iranian Mullahs.

“It is in our kismet that we’ll remain poor perhaps infinitely. Only solution is that people like Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, and many more should lease swathes of our countries for twenty/fifty years. I should add the name of Richard Branson. He’s a good man. His Virgin Airlines plane is landing here in half an hour.”

The porter still wanted to talk more, but wife’s cousin arrived. She got money from the cousin and paid the porter 1600 rupees advising him:

“600 as your agreed wages and 1000 for your revelatory talk.”

The porter thanked her.

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Pf: Next short story will be posted at 11 am on Sunday 10th July 2022. It will be titled: My neighbours had a thought I had gone to meet my Maker.