Lockdown restrictions eased further

By Dr. F. Chaudhry

5 min read.

Before I dwell upon the titled subject, I better, albeit briefly, update the latest situation of the conflict between Dominic Cummings, the Prime Minister’s Chief advisor (DC) and the Media Chiefs. This subject was a hot topic of conversation in the UK for a couple of weeks and was considered in my previous post, dated 30.05.2020.

The bull was slightly injured, and was seen limping for a short while, but appears to have recovered. The pride of lions retreated in a helter-skelter fashion. One lioness, who had joined the pride’s onslaught at a later stage, has been more seriously affected. The bull carried her between the horns and tossed her more than two-metre away i.e. beyond the social distance. Ostensibly, she does not appear to be hurt. The injury could be latent for some weeks or months and might surface later.

The BBC’s Newsnight presenter Emily Maitlis had joined the serious conflict at a later stage and commented about the Prime Minister’s Chief Advisor’s trip to Durham during the lockdown. She broadcasted that he had ‘broken the rule, and ‘the country can see that…’ Also, she made some throwaway comments about the PM’s statement in the House of Commons.

 The BBC received almost 24,000 complaints against her comments. According to Andrew Marr, a respected BBC interviewer, she had crossed the lines and broke the BBC’s impartiality rules. He said that before his every programme:

“I sit down with my editor and go through every phrase, every adjective, every syllable that I say.”

 She did not appear on the Newsnight for one week. She is paid by the taxpayers’ money more than a quarter of a million pounds a year. The process to renew the BBC’s Charter will start during the present Parliament. In hindsight, I may say that its bosses may expect that ‘the chickens are coming home to roost’.

My advice to DC is that he should not be complaisant. He has failed to trounce his opponents and managed to scrap through this battle.  This time their fight was inopportune. At present they are quiescent. They are biding their time and would attack again probably after the virus is gone. Indubitably, there is no let up on it. He has won the battle, but the war is not over yet.

In recent days and weeks more lockdown restrictions have been eased. But for the time being the barbers’ shops/salons remain shut. It appears that with effect from 4^th July they would be allowed to work provided they observe the social distance restrictions. This is something which puzzles me. The good question is:

 How could they cut hair while keeping the two-metre social distance?

In China, the barbers had invented something, which I may call as Barbers’ Personal Equipment (BPE), which they used to cut the customers hair during the lockdown. Our barbers can import them from China and get some training virtually. But, as the time is short, the outcome might be the same as the debacle of the PPE import.

I have a suggestion.

Very recently, I heard a briefer at the Downing Street daily coronavirus conference, that two-metre distance could be shortened if you stand back to back or laterally.  In such a posture a customer’s hair can be easily cut without passing any infection. The virus moves forward and is not capable to negotiate a turn, let alone a sharp U-turn.  It is more so when both the customer and the barber are wearing face masks.

It may be argued that the problem remains about the front hair.

In some cases, it will not be an issue. For example, Mr Mat Hancock, Secretary of State for Health and Social care does not have front hair-his lock starts from the middle of the head. To cut his hair, shunning his front, is just a piece of cake. Similarly, some coronavirus scientific and medical advisors hardly have any hair in the front. The Prime Minister’s hair can be trimmed from the rear very easily.  There might be some difficulty to cut the hair of Mr Rishi Sunak, the Chancellor of the Exchequer. He can wait little more until the restrictions are further relaxed. He is in favour of further reduction in the social distance.

Before I conclude I wish to mention the latest situation of my hair. The fact of the matter is that I could not wait any longer. It was nearly six months since I had left my locks unshorn. I read in the paper that a newspaper columnist cut her husband’s hair twice with a kitchen scissor. I showed the paper to my wife, and we decided to go ahead to have my haircut. I had managed to get a hair trimmer as well.

I sat calmly on a chair upright. My wife started the job. According to her, she had seen my barber cutting my hair several times. She was confident that it would be a bespoke haircut.

To put it briefly, after the completion, I looked in the mirror and this was what I found.

My sideburns had disappeared right far beyond my outer ears. My eyebrows were clean shaved. Some hair on my occiput appeared to be untouched and were protruding. To be honest, I looked an alien.

In the evening when my youngest seven-year-old grandchild  saw my hairdo during the video chat, he looked askance and shouted:

“Mummy, who’s this funny looking man?”

Next day when I stepped outside my house to move the bins, I saw a bewildered look on the face of my neighbour on the opposite side of the street before he could answer belatedly my waving.